The good, the bad, and the golden

As dawn approached in England this morning, pictures started to emerge of the red carpet fashion from this years Golden Globe awards. I was awake all night as I kept dreaming about buying furniture after a day of hell at IKEA, so I decided to use my time wisely and have a long look at some amazing and not so amazing dresses. No, I may not have an extensive knowledge about the fashion world, and I don’t really have any place in saying what isn’t great, but I have devised my top five favourite and top five least favourite looks from the night. Unfortunately, due to copyright issues I am unable to publish pictures alongside, but if you are unaware of who I am talking about, then give it a quick Google and you will soon see.

1) To begin with, despite what most people seem to be thinking, my absolute favourite outfit of the night was Emma Watson strutting her stuff in Christian Dior. I think she looked totally incredible, and I loved the quirkiness of the outfit with the backless bright red gown, the black trousers and navy heel. By the sounds of it, Emma seems to have hit the bottom of the best-dressed list over in the States, whilst fashion worshippers over the pond love her unique style, and I agree. This would be a prime example of an outfit that I’d personally want to wear if I was to ever hit the red carpet, although I would never look half as good!

2) My second favourite outfit was the stunning Sofia Vergara in an equally stunning Zac Posen floor length, black ball gown. It accentuated all her best features, including some ridiculously toned arms! Despite changing for a GG after-party, (I don’t know why she did, if I ever wore that dress I’d never take it off… ever), Sofia looked just as amazing in a revealing Zuhair Murad metallic fishtail dress.

3) In third place is the gorgeous Maria Menounos in Max Azria Atelier. Opposite to Emma Watson, it seems that the reaction to Maria’s dress over here is not as great as it is in America, however; I completely beg to differ with us Brits. The cheeky cutouts on this beautifully shaped dress creates the perfect ratio of daring to darling in this look. The colour suits her so well and the simple ponytail does not take anything away from the dress, keeping the whole look elegant. I just think she looks completely gorgeous and I need this dress in my life.

4) Zoe Saldana takes forth place in my ranks out of last night’s looks. With everything going on, this fitted Prabal Gurung dress should technically be wrong, but it is so incredibly right. The highly detailed embellishments, the contrasting pink off-the-shoulder silk straps, and the transparent skirt all add to the uniqueness of the outfit, which has been paired with Louboutin heels and Lorraine Schwartz jewels. For some strange reason, I could just imagine Carrie Bradshaw/Sarah-Jessica Parker wearing this dress in an episode of Sex and the City.

5) My final favourite look was from 12 Years a Slave star, Lupita Nyong’o, wearing a totally unique caped, red Ralph Lauren dress. Personally, I would never wear this dress because I wouldn’t have the gonads to do so, and it is made for Lupita so perfectly; but I appreciate how extremely well designed this dress is. (I know Ralph Lauren would be so pleased to have my approval). Matched with her short hair and simple gold jewellery, this girl looks so effortlessly beautiful.

Now for the bad bit – my not so favourite looks. I hate to say negative things about the outfits because I’d never even be able to afford one of these dresses – but I’m speaking as if I had to go to a red carpet event, and these would not be any of the dresses I’d wear. Sorry!

1) I haven’t heard of Girls until recently, but even so Lena Dunham’s bright yellow Zac Posen dress is pretty heavy on the eyes. She admitted to not exactly dieting in the run up to the big show, stating that she actually ate a thick patty of hamburger meat like a cavewoman, which probably isn’t the greatest idea before putting on a tight bodice. For someone that is supposed to be BFF-ing with Victoria Beckham at the moment, she clearly hasn’t picked up any style tips. If you want to do yellow justice, then wear a gown like Big Bang Theory’s Melissa Rauch’s dress made by Romona Keveza.

2) I really do hate to say it because it’s Dior, one of my all-time favourite designers, and also Jennifer Lawrence, one of the best actresses on the planet right now; but this really does not work in anyway whatsoever. It looks like someone attempted to kidnap her with Gaffer tape mid-wedding, but failed to do so, leaving a very unflattering wedding dress. Unfortunately, social networkers are already mocking her internationally, taking pictures of themselves in a rolled-up duvet. For someone like Jennifer with a lovely figure, it seems a shame to hide it behind a frumpy, shapeless dress, but I suppose she does like to bend the norm, so if she likes it, then kudos to her!

3) My third choice is utter bullocks, (sorry I couldn’t help myself). Sandra Bullock has done extremely well so far in the ranks of awards, and is set to win many more, but this Prabal Gurung dress is not going to win in my charts anytime soon. It’s a bit too ‘try hard’ different, so much so, that it doesn’t work in any shape or form – probably because the dress has neither. Also, the poor design and colouring of this dress looks like something that could have been made in my A-Level Textiles class, but then again that would be an insult to us. Despite this, I do love her hair and makeup, and admittedly, she looks incredible for her age.

4) Paula Patton comes forth in her white Stephane Rolland dress with ruffled draping. It’s not the worse dress in the world, but for someone with such an amazing body, she could wear so much better. The dress would look miles nicer if it didn’t have that draping down the right-hand side. Her jewellery is gorgeous and she genuinely looks stunning, however; this dress is a no.

5) In fifth place is Drew Barrymore with her Monique Lhuillier gown, which to me, alongside the baby bump, flowers and long trail, slightly resembled Kim Kardashian’s Givenchy’s dress at the Met Ball last year… no comment. But hey she’s pregnant. If I ever look that pretty whilst up the duff then I’d be extremely happy.

Overall, my views on some particular designers like Christian Dior, Zac Posen and Prabal Gurung seemed to vary. Nevertheless, there were hundreds of lovely outfits seen last night and were very few terrible outfits – even some of the dresses mentioned above aren’t hideous, but just not up there with the standards of some other gowns. This is only an opinion and I guess everyone will think differently, as everyone has their own unique style.

Let me know if you agree or disagree with anything in this post!

fernsig2

The struggle with anxiety

This is definitely going to be one of my most serious blog posts, and also the most difficult to write; but I think that it is something that is long overdue, and should be done in order to help overcome the problem I have faced.

Some may or may not know that I am unfortunately a huge sufferer of anxiety. I have dealt with it for the majority of my life, and still suffer to this day – although not as much. I do not want this post to be considered as a ‘cry for attention’, or asking people to feel sorry for me. I want to use it as a positive platform to help both myself genuinely think about what I, and many others have to deal with, and also to help individuals maybe get through the emotions they are feeling, as well as informing others who are unsure of the disorder.

Most people do not realise that it is a mental illness. When people think of the term ‘mental’, they think of an unpredictable psychopath who could snap at any moment, which is completely untrue. The connotations that come with a mental illness in general, are mostly negative. People need to realise that even stress is considered a mental illness, but just because someone is stressed, does not make them ‘crazy’. Luckily, through charity awareness weeks and social media, the barrier is slowly being broken down, and it is becoming more acceptable to talk about mental health with a positive outlook. However, I believe that more does have to be done if we want to completely diminish the overall negative views on mental health. Nevertheless, that is another story. I want to talk about the various stages of my life and the anxiety I dealt with.

As mentioned above, I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks from an extremely young age. My Mum reminds me now on how I’d say I had ‘gone all funny’. I did not realise what was actually going on, but now looking back, I can see that in fact I was having a panic attack. The first proper panic attack I can remember is when I was about 10 years old. It was a Friday evening and I had just been dropped at my old best friends house for a sleepover. We were sat round her dining room table with a drink (no it wasn’t alcoholic!), when all of a sudden I felt sick, dizzy and hot. I wasn’t there half an hour until my Dad had to come and pick me up. Without knowing what was going on, my Dad drove us to our nearest shops as we normally did on a Friday evening to get snacks for the weekend, and went back home. When we got back, my panic attack had increased. By this time I had been panicking for 20 minutes, and I was certain that I would need an ambulance. I asked my Dad if we should call 999, but obviously I was fine and we didn’t. (Someone that has anxiety will know this horrible feeling). It may sound silly but as a 10 year old who has no knowledge of anxiety and panic, it was the scariest time in the world.

Unfortunately my teenage years were not any easier, for numerous reasons.

The transition of moving from primary school to secondary school is a nerve-wracking time. To face a new school with new challenges will definitely pressurise children, but at the time I moved I was also suffering with Glandular Fever, which didn’t help my anxiety. In lessons I would have to leave because I’d feel too ill, and sometimes I wouldn’t bother going in which made the girls in my class think that I was faking it. This carried on for a few years, but I had months of not having any panic attacks at all, to having around two or three a day.

At the age of 15 my dad was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease, a terminal illness in which the muscles waste away, leaving the sufferer paralysed. This was an extremely difficult time, but oddly enough my anxiety wasn’t too bad, my family were still just maintaining hope that we could maybe find a cure. Eleven months after he was diagnosed, Dad passed away a couple of months before my 17th birthday. At any age losing a parent is horrendous, and the grief hits you like an atomic bomb, especially when they are taken from you so suddenly. At this time in my education I was studying my AS Levels, which didn’t make things easy. My school tried to make me leave on numerous occasions, and sometimes I was keen on the idea of just walking out, but knew in years to come I’d regret that decision.

The most annoying thing is that panic can arise in the calmest of situations. I could be watching the X Factor when all of a sudden I was certain I was dying or I could be lying down in bed and I would panic, for no reason. Like clockwork, it would happen every Sunday evening. One particular attack that I can remember so distinctly was one Sunday evening; me, my Mum and my boyfriend were watching The Apprentice Final (when Ricky Martin won), when all of a sudden I felt extremely panicky. I felt like my brain was shutting down, my heart hurt, my whole body was shaking, I was hot, I was certain that I needed to go to hospital, and was certain that that evening I was going to die. My Mum and boyfriend were just telling me to calm down, but during a panic attack, there is no telling someone to calm down. I was saying that I needed to go to hospital and was angry that they were just sat there, thinking I was going crazy. But your body feels so wrong, you don’t feel like yourself, and nothing feels real.

A year and a half on from my father’s death, and a week before my A Level final exams another huge event in my life happened. On Jubilee Monday, my house was destroyed in a fire. I had been home from work only 20 minutes when all of a sudden we had a loud knock at the door, and to our shock, someone was screaming at us to get out because our roof was on fire. Leading up to this I was sat in the lounge watching the start of the Jubilee celebrations, when me and my Mum had said that our next door neighbours must have been tidying their garage. On the other side of the wall our sofa is placed against, it sounded like they were moving things about. What in fact was happening were paint pots, gas canisters and electrical items exploding. I grabbed my dogs, phone and iPad (priorities?) and left the house immediately. When we got outside and looked at our roof it was completely on fire, and we had been sat under it for at least five minutes without any knowledge. As we watched five fire-trucks and over 40 fire fighters try and extinguish the 50ft flames, you can imagine, my anxiety was at an all time high.

Due to everything that happened leading up to my A Levels I was more than certain there was no chance I was going to pass any of my exams. I had already deferred my UCAS application and was prepared to have a year out working. Nevertheless, in August 2012, I received BBC in Business, Textiles and English – something that I could never have predicted. Within an hour I had called Bournemouth University to see if I could still go that year, and luckily got in through clearing. Again at the time of moving on from school to university, it is another scary time in your life. Luckily I had the comfort of still being at home, because I did not feel ready to leave home so soon after everything that had happened. In my first year I did deal with panic attacks – as you can imagine being in a fire, I was concerned about being able to get out of somewhere quickly, so I would worry in lectures, which made it difficult to learn, and most of the time, I would avoid them where possible. This may sound completely stupid to some people, but I guess everyone is different. 

I have dealt with anxiety and panic disorder numerous ways. I have been prescribed beta-blockers a few times, which stops the random rush of adrenaline, which initially starts the panic attack. But you have to learn not to rely on them, so I only used them when I felt like a panic attack was about to start. I’d listen to some music and have a sing along. Scientifically, you are more aware of your breathing when you are singing and breathe deeper, so you get more oxygen in your lungs. A panic attack makes you breathe very lightly and shallowly, and this will not help in terms of dizziness or the faint feeling you may get. This brings me to my next point – meditating. I’d often lie down in bed listening to a YouTube self-help video where someone will take you through a relaxation period, make you think about your breathing, and teach you how to clear your thoughts. I know it sounds annoying, but I think the only way to properly overcome the disorder is to ride it through like a wave. Everyone is different; some may like to meditate, some like to medicate. But the one piece of advice I can give is to just keep telling yourself: you are not going to die. A panic attack can not kill you. Although at the time you feel like everything is coming to an end – it’s not. Keep telling yourself that and you’ll soon get over it.

I know it is a pretty deep topic to discuss, and although I’ve talked about periods of my life which I don’t like to draw upon – they have all made me who I am today. I don’t think I would ever be as strong as I am now. And as mentioned before, I really have not done this for pity in anyway, shape or form, but I already feel like a large weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, because I’ve never discussed it in such great detail before. But everything I have dealt with has made me even more motivated and determined to work harder for what I want in life. I realised that even during some of the worst situations, I can still manage to get some qualifications! I realised that life is far too short to spend 90% of the time worrying about what could happen. I realised that all that effort going into me over-thinking could be put to good use thinking about something positive. I’ve got a lot of extremely exciting events to look forward to which I will talk about at a later date – some that I do feel anxious for, and worry that I will have a panic attack. But I have to take my own advice – and remember that everything is OK!

What needs to be mentioned is that anxiety and panic attacks can occur for no reason at all. I am in no way saying that my anxiety is any worse than anyone else’s due to the situations I’ve dealt with. Everyone with it feels the effects differently, but they suffer all the same.

Some time on, and halfway through my degree, I can finally say I’m in a steady point in my life anxiety-wise. Yes I get anxious every now and then, and sometimes have the odd panic attack – but it’s nowhere near as bad as what I used to get, which I am so thankful for. Now, I get good anxious – the excited anxious you feel when you are stepping into the unknown, not the bad anxious, what you feel when in midst of a panic attack. I have to thank all my amazing family, boyfriend and friends for being so supportive during the tough times, and I really honestly could not thank them enough for everything they have done for me. Sorry if it has ever annoyed you! At these times you definitely learn who are the ones you can truly rely on, cliché as it sounds.

I really do hope this may have helped other people, and I know it has definitely helped me get certain things off my chest. If you have any questions, or need to chat about it then please do send me a message on twitter, or by email.

fernsig2

Time to Prime

Some of you may have read my first ever, (and very excitable) review of the Smashbox cosmetics a couple of months back, and I said I would be testing a few more products over the course of the year. A couple of months on, I have found myself buying another one their kits which they release frequently, containing some of their best products. This time I purchased the ‘IT’S YOUR PRIME‘ primer kit which contains 3 different amazing products; the Photo Finish Foundation Primer, the Photo Finish Lid Primer and the Photo Finish Hydrating Under-Eye Primer.

ITS YOUR PRIME

Smashbox: IT’S YOUR PRIME

Photo Finish Foundation Primer:

With my initial Smashbox purchase – Studio Pop for Lips, I received a small tester of the Photo Finish Foundation Primer, which I have used a LOT, yet still have to finish. I absolutely love this product as it really prepares my skin for foundation; giving my face a velvety smooth finish. It contains Vitamin A & E, grape seed extract and green tea, which reduces colour pigmentation on the face , soothes the skin and reduces the appearance of fine lines and pores. I only tend to use it before nights out so that my foundation lasts long hours and the elements of a night out – drunkenness, alcohol, tears, tiredness, you know the deal! It really does help make the foundation stay put for, I would say, a good 8 hours. You only need a small pea size amount to cover the whole face – too much and it can make the skin look greasy, despite being oil-free. Overall, a great product that can be worn by most, although I wouldn’t suggest it to people that suffer from dry skin as it could make it worse.

This product has won numerous of awards including being one of Marie Claire’s ’25 Products that will change your life’,  Best of Sephora award for Best Primer, InStyle’s Best Beauty Buy and many more!

IMG_4309

Smashbox: Photo Finish Foundation Primer

Photo Finish Hydrating Under-Eye Primer:

As I have mentioned in previous blog posts I suffer from really bad dark circles under the eye, so I love any product that can help reduce puffiness and dark pigmentation. Whenever I have been at the Smashbox counter I’ve always tried the Under-Eye Primer as it makes the sensitive skin under your eyes feel so soft and nourished, however; I just place it over the top of my make up meaning I can’t see the full difference it makes. I could never justify spending £21.00 on it, so when I saw that it was part of this kit – I was so happy and knew I had to get it! The product consists of anti-aging ingredients including caffeine, peptides and optical diffusers – all of which contribute to what Smashbox call the ’10 under-eye-benefits’: hydration, dark circles, puffiness, radiance, fine lines and wrinkles, texture, skin tone, age spots, clarity and soothing.

Using it for the first time properly and not in-store before concealer or foundation makes a huge difference. It feels as if the skin is being extremely hydrated, circles appear lighter in colour, and skin feels firmer. This product helps stop concealer from creasing, and ultimately helps eliminate the appearance of dark circles and wrinkles. It is a mini version of the product in the kit, but it still contains 5ml compared to the normal 10ml size.

What I like the most about this product is that it is multipurpose and can be worn alone to brighten the eyes instantly, worn under concealer to prevent makeup from creasing and setting into fine lines and finally used as a moisturizer to prevent wrinkles.

Photo Finish Under Eye Primer

Smashbox: Photo Finish Hydrating Under Eye Primer

Photo Finish Lid Primer:

Honestly, I haven’t used this product as much as I’ve used the other two, mainly because I don’t wear eye shadow often. However, when I have used this product, my eye shadow colours seem a lot more brighter and pigmented, and this product can be used separately as a highlighter on the brow bone. I do hope to use this more throughout summer as it is a lovely product.

Photo Finish

Smashbox: Photo Finish Hydrating Lid Primer

Overall, I am really happy with this purchase and I really do feel as I’ve got my money’s worth, as I always do with Smashbox products. I love the fact they are always bringing out new kits that are full of amazing products which are great value for money. I hope to see more make up brands doing this, as I know Benefit is another brand that bring out amazing kits for consumers.

I bought this kit for £14.00 in Boots which is such a bargain. If I were to buy these products separately, it would have cost me a whopping £61.00, so I can’t but feel pleased after getting these products, which are going to last me a long time – for practically a quarter of the price.

This product is  limited edition so if you want to buy one I suggest you do so soon so you don’t miss out on this fantastic deal. Head to your nearest Smashbox counter ASAP!

fernsig2

House of Halos

This Tuesday brought the Bloggers Love event for the upcoming, innovative accessory brand, House of Halos. Located eight floors up at the Penthouse London in the centre of Leicester Square, it was the perfect opportunity to display various – and very stunning – jewellery and accessory designs, created by couture hair accessory art designer, and owner of House of Halos, Arlene Barclay.

IMG_3864

View from The Penthouse London

Having 24 years expertise within this market, it was clearly an overwhelming situation for Arlene seeing so many beauty and fashion bloggers and people from the fashion industry supporting the event and the products. “I was unbelievably nervous and at the end when everyone was taking all the photos I was shaking like mad with fear and trying to hold back the tears, very, very grateful to everyone. What an emotional and special moment”.

At the young age of fourteen, Arlene’s love of accessories emerged and she started crafting her own jewellery, however; her passion was heightened at 23, when she initiated her first company, “Angel’s Halos”, after being disappointed by the lack of formal hairpieces on the market whilst trying to find her own bridal accessories. With great success and numerous bridal designs being featured in all major Scottish Wedding Publications and various Northern England exhibitions & catwalks, Arlene decided in 2012 to end Angel’s Halos on a high, and start a new chapter in her life – House of Halo’s, which brings us to the current day.

The latest designs from House of Halo’s sees a variation between couture; such as the eccentric feather head piece seen in picture four, and classic; including the chic pearl necklace worn in picture two. Despite the quirky designs, there are definitely some vintage inspired pieces that could be worn on a day to day basis, or on special occasions, including the pearl and crystal encrusted headband and bracelet seen in the Ocean collection (see below).

IMG_3944 IMG_3926 IMG_3908

IMG_3896 IMG_3877 IMG_3924

Photos taken by me @ Bloggers Love event

Past the intricate designs, however; Arlene wants to use these designs as a platform to help make a difference in the world – you could say she wears a halo of her own. “Why should the younger youth inherit such a mess? It’s time for a change“, which is an extremely refreshing mindset from a designer.

What is incredible and highly unique is that the majority of the lines in the brand have their own name in regards to what the proceeds will go towards; for example, the ‘Peace’ design, which is going to help support charities like War Child, the ‘Ice’ designs – which will help with the results of global warming in the Arctic and Antarctica, and also the ‘Ocean’ line which will support marine life issues.

peace

Peace Designs – Picture from Twitter @HouseofHalos

These three jewellery pieces have a definite goth/Victorian inspired twist on an otherwise, fashionable look; especially the choker necklace, which has been seen exclusively on number one selling artist – Emili Sandé.

Ice designs ICE DES

The Ice Designs – photo’s taken by me @ Bloggers Love event.

ocean

Ocean Design – Picture from Twitter @HouseofHalos

Arlene maintain’s the slogan “a genuine desire to exceed client expectations“, which she has always been determined to exceed. This could definitely be achieved, as the first design she wants to release is the Peace collection. These pieces could definitely be added to any outfit to add an edge.“I think this will be a good initial design because it is on trend and a timeless fashion design, but also the fact of personal satisfaction in knowing by making their purchase they could be helping children less fortunate in this world. Things have to change and I’d be honoured if I could start a change just by a little necklace or bracelet.”

After 15 years at a professional level, Arlene has set herself high ambitions of making House of Halos a global success and the current aspiration is to see her products stocked in Selfridges and Harvey Nichols. However; in order for this to happen, Arlene needs an investor who will help, along with her passion and fortitude, to create a brand that is world-wide established. Therefore, it is highly important that everyone passes the word around about this company!

So with certain motives of not only creating stunning pieces that would fill a huge gap in the market, but wanting to help make positive changes within the world, it’s only fair that this kind, and incredibly creative lady gets an investor on board so we could see these products in our stores as soon as possible.

Please do take a look at her website to check out the portfolios and photo galleries, and make sure you show your support by following her on twitter!

fernsig2

@HouseofHalos

Facebook: House of Halos

Models in these photographs are seen wearing dresses designed by Kevin Freeman of Renaissance Couture, and Isabelle Randall.

Fantasy Shopper…

Fantasy Shopper does exactly what it says on the tin. It is an online shopping market where females (and males!) that are obsessed with fashion and shopping can create their fantasy outfits, whether it be designer or high-street, without spending the huge price label that comes along with it. It is perfect for many kinds of people including those who spend their days browsing different sites for clothes, or an outfit they would love to buy but never can afford (that would be me) – or for the people who can’t help but spend their money online, but don’t want the guilt!

With an excessive wardrobe that holds thousands of different pieces for boys and girls, Fantasy Shopper provides a platform for users to pretend that they are a top stylist where they are able to design any outfit they like, without the judgement of others. And it’s just fun to get away from the stresses and strains of life by doing so!

With regular competitions, users are also able to have the opportunity to win (real money) vouchers for a variety of stores, simply by designing an outfit specific to a theme. What can seem easier than that?!

fs

Click to enlarge a photo. This outfit is designed for the latest event – Country Chic. I thought I’d take a different approach to this look by adding a punk/rock edge to the outfit – however kept the fringing and studs which is always a key part of a Southern look. 

What I think is great about this website is that it is a big community filled with people from all over the world, each one having a unique and individual style.  Each time someone uploads an outfit, they can be sending inspiration from different countries to someone who is in need of trying out another style to add to their wardrobe, but wouldn’t necessarily know what to choose, or maybe someone that is completely clueless of what to go for.

There is also a part of the website called ‘Style Assist’, where a user can ask for the assistance off others, whether it be if they’re not sure what dress to buy and want some help deciding, or wanting to know what kind of top to pair with an A-line denim skirt. The list is endless but the way users are able to communicate is great.

People are able to follow, like or comment one another, which makes the social interactivity of this website perfect.

fnsh

Click to enlarge a photo. This was my styled outfit for the event Snow Style and came in at a whopping £479.00 (was mostly the Michael Kors bag!) It was my first look I made and I got 19 likes which I thought was impressive!

Another great thing is that if someone was tempted to buy something but not sure what to pair it with, they can find the piece, or something similar in the online wardrobe, and try out various outfits before going out and actually buying the piece of clothing. This way they can figure out whether they want to buy it or not.

I log on a couple of times a week, yes for competitions, but also because it’s just fun. You can spend half an hour just making up crazy designs for the fun of it, and it doesn’t make you depressed like you do when browsing online stores when you know you can’t afford to buy something.

So if you fancy pretending to spend some money, want a bit of fun, or to have the opportunity to win some great cash prizes then log on to Fantasy Shopper and don’t forget to follow them on Twitter, it’s so worth it!

fernsig2

http://www.fantasyshopper.com/

Twitter:

@fantasyshopper

@fernbjournalism